Asking ‘RU OK?’ on any Day of the Year

A Quick Guide for Parents & Children

Unless you live under a rock, you know about RU OK Day. An annual event dedicated to promoting mental health awareness and encouraging conversations about emotional well-being. Celebrated in Australia today (Thursday 12th September), this day is a crucial reminder for all of us to check in with those around us and offer support when needed.

For parents, RU OK Day presents an invaluable opportunity to connect with their children on a deeper level. Asking questions about mental health and emotional states can help build resilience and foster a supportive environment. One often overlooked aspect of these conversations is addressing everyday annoyances that can affect a child's mood and overall well-being, such as scratchy clothing labels.

The Role of RU OK Day

RU OK Day is more than just a calendar event; it's a movement designed to break down the barriers of stigma surrounding mental health. It encourages people to ask their friends, family, and colleagues a simple but profound question: “Are you OK?” This question opens the door to meaningful conversations that can provide emotional support and validation, which are essential for mental health.

Remember, unless you’re a qualified counsellor, asking the question, “RU OK?” doesn’t mean you need to take on the responsibility of resolving someone’s issue – merely asking them if they’re ok can create the space for them to consider how they wish to open up and tackle any challenges they may be facing – often empowering them to reach out to a more qualified professional.

For parents, RU OK Day serves as a reminder of the importance of being attuned to their children’s emotional needs. Often, children may not vocalise their struggles or may find it challenging to express their feelings. By actively engaging in conversations about their well-being, parents can create a safe and supportive environment that encourages openness and trust.

Why Parents Should Ask: "Are You OK?"

1. Early Detection of Issues: Regularly asking your child if they are okay helps in identifying any underlying issues or emotional distress early. Children might not always be aware of how to articulate their problems, but a simple, open-ended question can encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.
2. Promotes Emotional Intelligence: By asking about their emotional state, parents teach children to recognise and name their feelings. This skill is crucial for emotional intelligence, which helps children manage stress, build healthy relationships, and make informed decisions.
3. Builds Trust and Communication: Consistent check-ins build a strong foundation of trust between parents and children. When children know they can openly discuss their feelings without fear of judgment, they are more likely to seek support when needed.

Incorporating Everyday Concerns: Asking About Scratchy Labels

While asking about general well-being is essential, addressing specific daily irritations can also play a significant role in a child’s emotional state. For instance, something as seemingly trivial as scratchy clothing labels can affect a child's comfort and mood and trigger sensory processing issues. Here’s why it’s worth including such questions in your conversations:

1. Physical Comfort and Emotional State: Physical discomfort can significantly impact a child’s emotional well-being. Scratchy labels, itchy fabrics, or uncomfortable shoes can cause irritability and distress. By asking, “Are you OK with your clothes?” parents address a specific aspect of their child's daily experience that might be affecting their mood.
2. Encourages Open Dialogue: Including questions about daily irritations fosters an environment where children feel comfortable discussing both major and minor concerns. It shows that parents care about the little things that might affect their child’s happiness and comfort.
3. Problem-Solving Opportunities: When parents address these small issues, they can work with their children to find solutions. For example, if a child is bothered by scratchy labels, parents can help them cut them out or find tagless clothing designs (like Baby Todd & Co.). This not only solves the immediate problem but also demonstrates that their concerns are valid and worth addressing.

How to Incorporate These Conversations

1. Be Observant and Attuned: Pay attention to your child’s behaviour and body language. Sometimes, signs of distress or discomfort are not vocalised but can be observed through changes in mood or habits.
2. Choose the Right Moment: Find a calm and relaxed time to have these conversations. Avoid times when the child might be stressed or preoccupied, such as during bedtime or right before school.
3. Use Open-Ended Questions: Encourage a deeper conversation by using open-ended questions like, “How have you been feeling lately?” or “Is there anything at school or home that’s bothering you?”
4. Listen Actively: When your child responds, listen attentively without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Validate their feelings and show empathy, even if their concerns seem minor.
5. Offer Support and Solutions: If a child shares that something like a scratchy label is bothering them, work together to find a solution. This might involve changing clothing brands, modifying existing clothes, or simply acknowledging their discomfort and providing reassurance.

It shouldn’t be a question reserved for just one day of the year.

RU OK Day is a vital reminder for parents to engage in meaningful conversations with their children about their emotional well-being. By regularly asking, “Are you OK?” and addressing specific concerns, parents can foster an environment of support and understanding. These conversations not only help in identifying and addressing emotional and physical discomfort but also build a foundation of trust and open communication.

By making mental health a priority and addressing everyday issues, parents can play a significant role in their child’s emotional development and overall well-being. On RU OK Day and beyond, let’s commit to being present, attentive, and supportive, ensuring that every child knows their feelings are heard and valued.

Give it a go the next time you're in the car together, sitting down to dinner or reading a book before bed...they may surprise you.

Be prepared however, asking your child if they are ok, may result in them asking you the same question! Think about how being vulnerable with them may enhance your bond even further, just keep the topics you share with them 'age-appropriate', you don't want them worrying about adult things before they need to.